Week 18: Give my Heart

Good afternoon! All jewel?

This week was plenty of fun, especially as the language grind is getting slightly easier and I'm able to actually keep up with conversations. And, good news: transfers came out and I will be staying here with Elder Dickens, which I'm glad about cause we've got big plans for the future... 

And, this week, I feel like writing what's in my mind for my Spiritual thought and most of my email, and it's my email so I can do that, haha.

Favorite Hymn -- In the Bleak Midwinter

This week, we had another division (in case you couldn't tell Iove divisions), and for the day I was with the great Elder Walter. While eating pizza with chocolate in the crust, we discussed our work and what me and my companion can do better, because lately we haven't been doing too well. While we discussed literal things we could do better, one large topic was being a consecrated and changed missionary. But what does this mean and how does it relate to our lives as a whole?

And really, this is something I'm still figuring out. I still have plenty of materials provided by our mission and scriptures about the subject to read, and it's honestly quite difficult to figure out. As missionaries, we have basic rules to follow, then above that, expected schedules and expected goals of work done. And as members of the Christ's church, we have plenty of expectations of us as well, like going to church and paying tithing. For some, following these expectations are easy, while for others, they're difficult trials of faith. However, for many, especially for those who are able to easily follow these expectations, something is often missing.. something I've often seen missing in myself.

While discussing with Elder Walter, I was reminded of the song, In the Bleak Midwinter. It's beautiful, and in it, the simple question is asked: 

It then continues by saying what you might be able to give:

And while God wants to us to use the gifts and talents given to us to serve Him and others (parable of the talents shoutout), really, we are all poor. So, the final line names what we can all give:

So, from everyone, God wants your heart. Like the amazing BYU speech "His Grace Is Sufficient" by Brad Wilcox says, nothing about faith and salvation is about checking boxes. God wants your heart, not just to keep it, but to change it. And once He does, you will feel as Jeremiah did: 

(Jeremiah 20:9, NKJV because KJV was genuinely hard to read) 

So, as I seek to follow the will of the Lord more closely in my work and am still figuring out how to, the most important thing I learned I still need to give to God, before anything else, is my heart. And if you feel what you are giving God isn't enough or that God wants too muc from you, remember that he first wants you, to change you, and the rest will follow naturally.

That's all my thoughts for this week,

Till next time,

Elder Haroldsen

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